Which contains a few more school stories, but no pictures

I have morning duty every Wednesday. I love it. I get to be outside in the early sunshine with 180 kids who reunite with such joy that you’d think they hadn’t seen each other in years instead of hours. (They’ll be sick of each other by the end of the day, but no matter.) I also like it because I patrol the upper elementary side of the playground. Their side is less labor-intensive than the little ones’. Mostly I just shoo kids without rackets off the tennis courts and say stuff like, “I’ll take that” and “Whose binder is it? Then give it back.”

There’s a group of third-grade boys who hang out on the swings every morning pretending to be WWII bomber pilots. They were flattening Paris and dropping the Big One on Berlin in the same swoop, so I’m not sure if they’re Allies or Axis, but details like this are of no consequence on a bright September morning when you’ve got the swings to yourselves.

Shem (of School on a Boat fame) has been drawing again. Yesterday he was working on a zombie hotel. He later added a zombie on the ground floor electrocuting a shark.

“How did the shark get in the hotel?” I asked.

Shem looked at me and then back at his picture. “It’s one of them sharks that can breathe out of water,” he said.

Oh, right. One of them sharks. Silly me.

The same day, the girl who sits by Shem said she liked my skirt. Shem reached up and touched the ribbon in my hair. “Is this your skirt?” he asked.

No, kid. It’s one of them sharks.

The Boy Scout rep came to our school earlier this week. He displayed some pinewood derby cars and a few badges on a card table and tried to recruit the scouting types from amongst our student body.

I overheard three first grade boys discussing the organization on their way to recess.

“Boy Scouts is way better than Girl Scouts,” said the first boy.

“Yeah,” said the second. “Boy Scouts get to build stuff. Girl Scouts just sell cookies.”

The third one was quiet for a bit and then, in a small voice, said, “But I like Girl Scout cookies.”

Ah, don’t worry, kid. I’d rather eat a box of Caramel Delights than build a wooden car, too.

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Just a heads up–International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19. Mark your calendars and polish yer buccaneer vernacular!!

 

School on a boat

The first graders made a class book the other day titled, “The First Days of First Grade.” Each kid had a page with a big box at the top for an illustration and a sentence frame on the bottom that read:

_____________ thinks first grade will be ____________.

The kids wrote their names on the first blank and “osm” or “grat” on the second line.

When the kiddos were done, Mrs. C (that’s the real teacher, as opposed to Miss C, who is me) instructed the kids to draw a picture that matched their sentence. IE: something to do with school.

So I’m walking around looking at pictures and this one kid, we’ll call him “Shem,” says, “Look! This is me and my mom and my dad on a boat and there are sharks attacking people in the water.”

I looked, and there were three stick figures hanging out on the top of a boat, while other sitck figures floundered in the water, circled by yellow and black sharks with fearsome teeth.

“Huh,” I said.

Then Mrs. C reminded the students again that their picture should have something to do with first grade.

Shem’s eyes widened. He frequently doesn’t hear directions until the third or fourth time. His brow furrowed. He pondered his picture.

When I walked by again, I glanced at his picture. It looked exactly the same. But he stopped me to exclaim, “Hey, look Miss C! We’re having school on the boat!

hahahha…

The next day I asked him who the people in the ocean were. I wanted him to tell me who they were before he decided to make it ‘school on the boat.’ But he said they were his first grade classmates. Then he pointed to one stick figure holding a rectangle, “And that’s the janitor!”

(The janitor is the one with the orange arrow.)

 

Which contains a failed attempt to use public transportation

I miss Prague’s public transportation. With my three-month pass, I could step on any bus, metro, or tram and be whisked away to parts unknown. Or I could plan a specific route using this handy site: http://idos.dpp.cz/idos/connform.aspx?tt=pid&cl=C. Nearly any part of this city of 1.2 million was accessible in under an hour. Most trips were mere minutes.

 I also relished the freedom of not having a car. No gas, no insurance, no license fees and renewals. No dashboard warning lights blinking like bulbs on a Christmas tree. (Currently, my dash shows: low oil, air bag, anti-lock brakes, and volts. This last one, apparently, means that my alternator has gone out. My dear brother was in the garage all evening doing whatever it is one does to a car whose alternator has kicked the bucket. Thank you!)

Also, public transportation meant I didn’t have to drive. I always have a strong impression that the people in the cars around me are muttering things about my driving. This is because when I ride with people and they mutter about the other drivers, I think, “Huh. That’s kinda how I drive.”

With these things in mind, and especially with the alternator debacle, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be great if I could take public transportation to work here?” Driving, it takes about 15 minutes to make the 6.1 mile trip. But the capital city boasts a bus system fondly nicknamed the CAT and advertising that encourages residents to “Catch the CAT.” Also there is a bus stop on the corner of my brother’s block and another a block from the school.

This should mean that I could, conceivably, ride the bus to work. Right? Right?

Yeah. No.

After deep bus schedule perusal, it appeared to be impossible to arrive at school at 8 am without leaving the night before.

Not abandoning hope, I used the CAT website’s handy trip planner, in which you enter your departure address and the time you wish to arrive at your destination. This is similar to Prague’s hledat spojení site, except that an actual person (her name is Misty) reads your request and responds via email the next day with a route tailored to fit your needs.

I appreciated the personal touch, and Misty was clearly excited that I was interested in catching the CAT. (The only communication you get from Prague’s public transport people is, “You want to pay for 260 Kc worth of metro tickets with a 2000 Kc bill at nine in the morning? Are you NUTS?”) But even Misty was unable to finagle a route that would get me to school on time.

Here is the condensed version of what she proposed:

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The earliest I can get you to your destination would be about 8:20 pm. I mapped the route out for you with the revised arrival time:

• Walk to 23rd St. Stand on the northwest corner of this intersection. The C1 bus comes at about 7:11 am. When you see the bus approaching, wave your hand so the driver knows you want to get on the bus.
• Ride the C1 bus to Gateway Mall. It will arrive at about 7:25 am. Ask the C1 driver for a transfer slip. Get off the C1 bus. You will have a half hour wait.
• At 8 am, get on the D2 bus. Tell the driver when you are paying your fare that you will be transferring at BSC.
• The D2 bus gets to BSC at about 8:10 am. Ask the D2 driver for a transfer slip, get off the D2 bus and get on the M2 bus.
• The M2 bus will get to 14th St at about 8:21 am. This is close to your destination. When you are about a half block from this intersection, pull the yellow cord running along the inside of the bus and the driver will let you off at a safe location.

I would suggest practicing the route a few times before the day you “need” to be at the designated location so you are comfortable with the bus system. Buses are given a 3 minute window at timing points, so be at your starting location about 5 minutes early. Please let me know if you have any questions about these directions and thank you for your interest in “Catching The CAT!” 

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One hour and fifteen minutes, three changes, a practice ride, and I’d still get to work a half hour late.

Apparently the CAT is exclusively for the retired or unemployed who cruise the bus lines at their liesure.

Dang.

But even though I’m stuck driving to school, I can use alternative transport to the other two places I go. Those places would be church and the grocery store.

I usually walk to church. It takes 40 minutes, but it’s doable. Then I sit through the service with sweaty armpits, but…come to think of it, that’s more Prague-ish than riding the bus! (Just kidding, my dear Praha readers.)

I’ve also started riding bike to the grocery store. This will come to a screeching halt with the first snow mid-October, but I’ll do it while I can. (The first time I rode to the store, I had to wait for a guy to unchain his dog from the bike rack before I could lock up. He looked at me strangely and commented, “First time I ever seen anyone use this for a bike.”)

And maybe…someday…I’ll even catch the CAT.

On a Saturday.